And the worst part is...I haven't been trying to fix it. There have been many occasions between then and now where I've thought "oh, I haven't blogged in a while! I should probably do that!" and yet what have I done? Absolutely nothing.
I really hate to admit it, actually. I don't like to think about how I've been ignoring God and being lazy in my walk with Him. But the truth is...I have been. And this all came crashing on top of me about 20 minutes ago, while I was in the middle of watching Touch. Now I don't know if any of you guys are familiar with that show, but it is seriously one of the hardest shows in the world to stop watching. It's one of those shows where if you leave the room for 2 seconds, you've missed something.
So as you can figure out, the last thing I wanted to do was turn the TV off. And if I'm honest, it took me a couple commercials to do it. But I finally decided that I wasn't going to ignore God another time. He put this on my heart at that very moment for a reason. I needed to stop what I was doing and respond to Him. And even though it was tough...I finally did.
And you wanna know something? I feel great. I love being on here, typing out my thoughts and really being honest with not only the handful of people reading this blog, but also with myself. God has given me a passion for writing, and it's amazing to use that talent to reach out to other people.
But the thing that gets to me the most? I've finally acted out in obedience to God. I finally ignored the world around me and responded to Him. And that feels greater than words can express. I've spent too much time these last couple of months just going through the motions. You know what I'm talking about. Going to church, going to youth group, listening to Christian music...all those little things that you know aren't good enough but you try to convince yourself different anyways.
It's so easy to get wrapped up in our excuses and distractions, isn't it? Trust me - I know. But the beautiful thing is, we serve such a patient and persistent God. Whether we realize it or not, He's always walking with us, nudging us to fall back onto His path. He's always there, ready to forgive and take us back in His arms. The only step we have to do (which I'm not gonna lie, it's a hard step!) but the only step we have to do is finally let go of the things that are holding us back, and surrender to the only One who's worthy of everything we have to give.
"This is why it is said: Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you."
Ephesians 5:14
So this is it, guys. It's time to confess, repent, and give our lives for Jesus. And in a lack of a better way to end this bad boy...
WAKE...RISE...SHINE.
