So I've had a lot of time to think today. Which honestly sometimes isn't the best thing for me...but today, it's been good. It's been encouraging. God really opened my eyes to something.
A while back in youth group, my youth pastor made a statement that really grabbed a hold of me. He said,
"Being fearless isn't having an ABSENCE of fear; it's MOVING IN SPITE of those fears."
Now don't ask me how this came to my mind today...I really couldn't tell you. I guess God just really wanted to tell me something.
I've been freaking out a lot lately. And yes, I realize this is a regular thing for me...but I mean more than usual. Senior year has gotten me completely stirred up. It's still an unreal thought to me. It doesn't feel like I should be graduating from high school. (I can't imagine how my parents feel...their oldest kid is getting married, and their youngest is graduating...yep, they're definitely getting old! Lol!)
Everything is seriously so surreal to me. None of it makes sense. I have absolutely no idea what I want to do with my life. I have no clue where I want to be,or what my future looks like. Everything is changing around me, and it honestly scares me to death. I don't like change. At all.
If I'm honest, I really don't want to grow up. The idea of living out on my own in this crazy, messed-up world does not seem ideal. Home is all I've ever known, and part of me wants to keep it that way.
But then when I think about it, that's exactly the point God is trying to get across to me. I need to go explore on my own, even if it's scary. I need to take that leap of faith, and have the trust that He will always be with me, protecting me and telling me where to go. I need to be confident in who He's made me to be, and embrace the plans He has for me. I need to never doubt that His plans are so much better than any I could ever think up on my own.
So I don't know what I want to do. I don't know where I want to be. I don't have the simplest idea where I will end up. But I do know who I am. I do know who my Father is, and I do know that His love never fails. He is in COMPLETE control of whatever may come, and that should be enough for me.
It's time for me to finally rely completely on God, and not the comforts of my everyday life. It's time for me to step outside of my comfort zone, and have the courage to overcome whatever may come my way, knowing He is with me. It's time for me to let go of my worries, fears, doubts, and insecurities, and live up to all God has in store for me. It's time for me to be FEARLESS.
